Kicking 2010 to the Curb

There are no tears being shed as 2010 comes to an end.

I am ready, so ready for a new year... for new beginnings, for new adventures, for new stories.

This past year has been a year where I have felt the least like myself.  A year where I have been overcommitted.  A year where I have let lies grab hold and become truths.  A year where a statement that normally wouldn't bother me hurt my feelings and caused me to feel insecure, to question my value, my "goodness", my worthiness.  A year where my to do list and the perceptions others have of me controlled my thoughts and my days to the point where I would awake early in the morning with lists running through my mind and anxiousness in my soul.

I am sure my family is ready to see this year end as well. I am fairly certain I wasn't so fun to live with at times.  

I read a book over the summer that really resonated with how I wanted to live my life.  As I have mediated on the ideas of the book, the haze of 2010 has started to lift.  I know that I have a choice of how to live my story.  I have a choice to believe the lies or toss them to the curb and believe truths.  I have the choice to be intentional about how I spend my time.  I have the choice to say no to activities and not feel guilty.  I have the choice to be honest, real, and raw.  I have the choice to focus on my kids, my husband, and my friends over focusing on the to do list and perceptions of others.

(As I read this blog post yesterday {yeah, welcome back Janelle!}, I realized I am not alone.  There is community in this crazy blog world.  By being honest and real you find encouragement, support, healing, and strength.)

Over the last few years instead of making new years resolutions I have picked a word to help define and focus my year.  I think the words I have chosen in the past {embrace, steadfast, intentional} are wrapped up in the word I have chosen for this year which is story {i am totally stealing denise's word from last year}.  I thought about choosing a word like courage or brave but those words are also tied up in living a good story.  For me it will take courage to put away the to do list and dance in the kitchen with the kids or respond immediately instead of putting them off while I finish cleaning.  I do not want my kids to remember their growing up as having a mom who was so busy finishing her list she didn't focus on them.  I will need to be brave to be more selfless and give to others with a cheerful heart.  It will take courage to be honest. It will take bravery to displace lies with truth. It will take courage to choose each day to live a great story.

My 11 goals for 2011:

* get healthy and lose some weight.  during this fog i had given up on many healthy habits.  i need to be healthy to be a good wife, mother, friend.  follow weight watchers point system and exercise at least 4 days a week

* read through the bible. 

* laugh more

* focus less on my "to do" lists.  there will still be lists but i don't want the lesson planning, errand running, house cleaning to control my days.  

* prioritize what we put on our calendar and how we use our time

* give of my time selflessly and cheerfully

* be electronic free at least 4 nights a week... no tv, wii, computers, phone, ds, leapster after dinner until kids are in bed. be more focused on spending time as a family - reading, playing games, doing crafts

* continue to follow our budget.  set long term and short term savings goals. be more intentional with our spending

* be more gracious

* find more joy in what appears to be the mundane, the everyday.  after i do my last 100 joys post, i plan to do a post each week listing joys. i need to choose to look for the joy and this will be a good exercise to  keep me focused.  

* be more honest and real.  be more "me"  worry less about others perceptions of me

were you sad to see 2010 end or ready to kick it to the curb? what are your goals for 2011?