The Journey Begins

For nine years I had a consistent weekday morning routine.  My alarm would go off at the crack of dawn, I would jump out of bed {already dressed for my workout}, and either get on my elliptical machine, run outside, or go to the gym.  I would spend an hour, five to seven days a week focusing on staying in shape, training for races, and creating toned muscles.

Last spring I had gained some weight and no matter how hard I tried I could not lose those extra pounds.  I went to my doctor to have him test my thyroid sure that was the problem.  My mom and sister both have thyroid issues that started in their late 30's so I was sure this was the reason I had gained weight.  A little blood test was going to give me the answer I wanted for my weight gain.  

My doctor told me two things that day.  The first was that I was physically fit and my body was happy at this weight. I might not be happy but my body was functioning well and I was healthy.  The second thing he told me was as I approached 40 {gulp} I needed to focus my exercise not solely on cardio but to work on being strong and flexible.  He said that strength and flexibility would be key to staying fit and healthy as I got older.

A week later the doctors office called with my results which showed my thyroid levels were normal.  I was disappointed to not have an answer to the unwanted weight.

As summer started I was in an internal battle between accepting my almost 37 year old body and my desire to see the scale at a certain number.  

Our summer started off in a blur.  The kids and I did two road trips within the first three weeks of summer and came back home to hit the ground running with vacation bible school, swimming lessons, morgan's gymnastics schedule, and keeping up on life at home.  By the end of July I was exhausted.  My  exhaustion plus my allergies kicking into high gear created a situation where my desire to jump out of bed at the crack of dawn disappear.  

I gave myself a week long break. A week turned into two weeks, which turned into a month, which turned into almost six months of not regularly exercising.  

During that time I had started to believe the lies that exercise didn't really matter.  After a rough spring of seeing some weight gain, even after giving up eating sweets and having no fountain soda for 8 weeks, my exercise efforts seemed in vain.  The scale did not move.  I believed that all the time I put in to exercise was yielding no results.  Why not sleep in later if exercise didn't matter??  If I did get up early I could cross a few things off my to do list or get caught up on some shows on the TiVo instead of spending time on my elliptical machine or outside running.

My attitude towards any type of exercise was bitter.  The lies had taken root and were so ingrained in what I was now believing.  The more comments were made or questions were asked about my lack of desire to exercise the more I dug my stubborn heels in and stood firm in my desire to not exercise.

Sometime late this fall, my heart and attitude began to soften.  I am not sure exactly what changed but in part it was due to the fact that my clothes were starting to not fit.   I decided to join weight watchers on line to help me focus on making healthy choices and jump start my weight loss.  I loosely started the plan before the holidays and began to exercise again in the mornings.  I saw some immediate results.  

When Christmas and New Years came I gave myself permission to not follow the plan.  I wanted to enjoy lefse, cinnamon rolls, and cookies.  I knew I would start back on the plan fully committed and focused after the new year.

I am at a weight that is the heaviest I have ever been in my life when not pregnant or post baby.  I know I have a long journey ahead of me to get back in shape and lose some weight.  I know that I need some accountability so I am going to document my journey here.  I haven't quite decided if I am going to post weekly or monthly. I am leaning towards monthly as I feel like a weekly update would be a little boring and redundant for my readers. {thoughts?}

In an effort to be real and honest and to live a good story I am going to put my weight.  It makes me nervous and feel sick to put up the number but I definitely have felt like this is part of the journey. This is part of keeping life real.  It is part of being vulnerable. Its part of being honest about the journey to getting healthy again.

Starting weight: 149.8 lbs

Goals: to make healthier choices

to follow the WW plan

to get in shape

to not focus on the number on the scale but how my clothes fit and how i feel

to be fit and healthy for my family

to exercise at least 4 days a week