7.22.2008

Fear

My feet felt heavy like my shoes were filled with cement  as I took steps forward from the car towards the entrance to the chair lift.  You see, I have this fear of riding on chair lifts (or ferris wheels but I LOVE roller coasters). I do not like the feeling of floating out over space with nothing but hard ground below me. 

This past weekend, I caved to peer pressure (especially from my 8 year old who offered to hold my hand) and the frugal side of me who could not let my day pass to an adventure park go virtually unused, and rode a chair lift. Three times. In order to go on a half mile alpine slide at the Ski Bowl Adventure Park in Oregon.

The first time up, I was almost paralyzed with fear. I held on to the pole next to me and the guard in front of me so tight my knuckles were white.  I could hardly hold a conversation with my daughter who was trying to calm me and comfort me.  I was doing okay until the chair lift stopped. Halfway up the mountain. I started to panic. Tears streaming down my face. Searching for a way to get down (I knew it wasn't possible but I wasn't exactly thinking rationally). We did start moving again, after what seemed like forever, and I made it to our stop. Thank you Lord!

The ride down on the alpine slide was incredible! So. much.fun. You sit on a little two wheeled cart and cruise down the mountain on a concrete track.  It was an exhilarating ride down the mountain. I loved it so much, I climbed back on the chair lift to do it again. And again.

I wouldn't say that I quite conquered my fear. I do not have a desire to get on a chair lift again anytime soon.  (My arms were sore the next day from hanging on to the chair for dear life each time up the mountain.)  There was a point in each ride up the lift where we entered a very dense forest and there was a stream running down the mountain - beautiful and peaceful. I know I wouldn't have experienced that beauty without riding the chair lift.  I know my children saw me take on something I was fearful of and enjoy an experience with them.  I know my husband thinks that now I will go skiing this winter (not there yet)!  I know that I got my money out of my day pass at the adventure park. I know that riding on the alpine slide is one of the most exciting things I have done in a long time.  I know this is a memory I will share with my kids forever. Even if it meant riding on that chair lift.


9 comments:

Rachel Slagle said...

what a great story - thanks for sharing. it looks (and sounds) like fun! doesn't peer pressure stink? :) i love things like that, but my mom doesn't - and i know there have been a couple of times when she has been pressured into going on rides and she always looks like she is about to die when she's on them :)

Lynn said...

Good for you! That does look like fun! I can totally relate to this fear. We were at a beautiful spot for vacation a few falls ago, and one of the attractions was riding the ski lift to view a lake and all of the beautiful fall foliage. I made my husband hold onto me the whole time, and that gnawing feeling never left the pit of my stomach. It was beautiful though...

Lynn said...

BTW...how's Anna coming?

Jessica Brown said...

nice job!!

Jennifer Partin said...

Hi Kristen,

I've been soooo busy! Trying to catch up on everything. :)

Happy Belated B-day! That looked like fun----aren't friends great? I'm sorry I missed out on the B-day giveaway!Oh well, no Target in Japan and I wonder if the Starbucks card would have been universal?

Can't believe it's been that many posts! There's such a sense of accomplishment with that. I enjoy your Blog.

You are stronger than me, I wouldn't have gotten on-----even if I did pay for a ticket.

The photos turned out really great----I understand your dilema. How are you going to pick only 1 for the frame?

I think I am gonna do Tokyo Marathon! Everytime I think of bailing out, I think of you. You are my inspiration right now. I'm not sure I can do it----the farthest I've ever run has been a 10K.

I'm not even guranteed to get in----sign ups started yesterday and wr'll be notified in mid Nov. (it's a lottery) The race is in March. What are your thoughts?

Good catching up-----I've missed reading on you, your family and your thoughts.

Janelle said...

I felt my heart race as you described your adventure. What a great story!

I am sure your daughter felt so honored to have this special time with you.

And the slide...looks so fun!

Heather said...

Congratulations on many levels Kristen- it's not easy to tackle our fears, especially in front of our children. But it's worth it, when the children see you conquer them. It sounds like you guys had so much fun and I'm so proud of you!

Denise said...

my kids are always thrilled when i do something i am terrified to do. recently as i was getting in the water to attempt knee boarding (yes, i'm a wimp), Noah looked at me smiled and said "thanks mommy."

you are much braver than me!

Dave and Jenni said...

I totally have a fear of heights also, so I can only imagine how fast your heart must have been beating. Congratualtions on overcoming that for your kids' sake! Hopefully, when the time comes, I can be as brave as you were. :)