Stages

She throws her head back, the tears are streaming down her face, her back arches, she tries to get out of my grip, the crying and screaming pierce my ears - my baby is in a full fledged tantrum.  She wants her independence and her freedom, yet she

 doesn't have the words to tell me her wants and needs.  The tantrums surprise me.  She has been such an

 easy going and gentle baby.  Now she is becoming an unpredictable toddler.   She is petite in stature but strong in her will.  It is an adventure watching her personality unfold.  She doesn't seem to have a middle ground - there is one extreme or another.  I can honestly do without the tantrums (couldn't we all). It is part of this stage that I don't want to remember, I don't want to embrace.  

I see the sweet and gentle side of my baby.  It melts my heart.  It makes me forget the tantrum that may have been just moments before. I see her wave hello and blow kisses to the grandmas at church who love babies, I see her lay her head on the shoulder of our elderly neighbor who misses holding and loving on babies, I see her laugh and play with her siblings, I see her face light up when I come in the room, I see her race for the door when she hears the garage door open and she knows her daddy is home.  I love those mo

ments.  I treasure watching her trying to take her first steps, say her first words, imitate her siblings in play - it is an amazing gift to be able to experience these moments.  I know I can't have the excitement and joys without the feelings of frustration and helplessness as she throws her tantrums.   This stage will pass in a blink.  I am watching eyes wide open. I don't want to miss a thing.